I start up in the North
I grow from special seed
I sprinkle it with sensibility
From French and Hungarian snow
I linger in the sprouting until my engine's full.

Then I move across the sea
To European bliss
To language of poets
As I cut the cord of home
I kiss my Mother's Mother
Look to the horizon.

Wide eyed, new ground
Humbled by my new surroundings.

I am a citizen of the planet

I am driving in my car up highway one
I left LA without telling anyone
There were people who needed something from me
But I am sure theyll get along fine on their own

Oh this state of ecstasy
Nothing but road could ever give to me
This liberty wind in my face
And Im giggling again for no reason

I am dancing with my friends in elation
Weve taken adventures to new levels of fun

You are the bravest man Ive ever met
You unreluctant at treacherous ledge

You are the sexiest man Ive ever been with
You, never hotter than with armor spent

When you do what you do to provide
How you land in the soft as you fortify

This is in praise of the vulnerable man
Why wont you lead the rest of your cavalry home

You, with your eyes mix strength with abandon

One day Ill find relief
Ill be arrived and Ill be a friend to my friends who know how to be friends

One day Ill be at peace
Ill be enlightened and Ill be married with children and maybe adopt

One day I will be healed
I will gather my wounds forge the end of tragic comedy

I have been running so sweaty my whole life
Urgent for a finish line
And I have been missing the rapture this whole time

Ive never been this accountable-less and within
Ive never known focuslessness on any form

Ive never had this lack of ache for dalliance
To let go and let God in ways I have never even imagined

I declare a moratorium on things relationship
I declare a respite from the toils of liaison
I do need a breather from the flavors of entanglement
I declare a full time out from all things commitment

Reborn and shivering
Spat out on new terrain
Unsure, unkind, insane
This faint and shaken hour

Day one, day one
Start over again
Step one, step one
I'm barely making sense
For now I'm faking it
'Til I'm psuedo-making it
From scratch, begin again
But this time I as "I"
And not as "we"

Gun-shy and quivering
Tear it without a hand
Feign brave but still intent
Little and hardly here

Something so benign for construed as cruelty
Such a difference between who I am and who you see

Conclusions you come to of me routinely incorrect
I dont know who youre talking to with such f**king disrespect

This shits making me crazy
The way you nullify whats in my head
You say one thing do another
And argue thats not what you did
Your ways making me mental
How you filter as skewed interpret

I am someone easy to leave
Even easier to forget
A voice, if inaccurate

Again, I'm the one they all run from
Diatribes of clouded sun
Someone help me find the pause button

All these tapes in my head swirl around
Keeping my vibe down
All these thoughts in my head aren't my own
Wreaking havoc

I'm too exhausting to be loved
A volatile chemical
Best to quarantine and cut off

I miss your smell and your style
And your pure abiding way
Miss your approach to life
And your body in my bed
Miss your take on anything
And the music you would play
Miss cracking up and wrestling
Our debriefs at end of day

These are the things that I miss
These are not times for the weak of heart
These are the days of raw despondence

Look at us break our bones in this kitchen
Look at us rallying all our defenses
Look at us waging war in our bedroom
Look at us jumping ship in our dialogues

There is no difference
In what we're doing in here
That doesn't show up as big as it does out there
So why spend all our time undressing our bandages
When we've the ultimate key to the cause
right here all underneath.

Coercing or leaving
Shutting down and punishing
Running from rooms, defending
Withholding, justifying

These versions of violence
Sometimes subtle sometimes clear
And the ones that go unnoticed
Still leave their Mark once disappeared

Diagnosing, analyzing
Unsolicited advice
Explaning and controlling,
Judging opining and meddling

These versions of violence
Sometimes subtle sometimes clear