So-Called Chaos lyrics

How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solvable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you

How to keep people at arms length and never get to close
How to mistrust the ones who supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone

Every time you raise your voice
I see the greener grass
Every time you run for cover
I see this pasture
Every time we're in a funk
I picture a different choice
Every time we're in a rut
This distant grandeur

My tendency to want to do away feels natural
My urgency to dream of softer places feels understandable

The only way out is through
The faster we're in the better

Why no one will help me
I am too dumb I am too smart
They'll not understand me
I am lonely
They'll hate me
And there is not enough time
It's too hard to help me
And god wants me to work
No resting no lazy

These excuses how they served me so well
They've kept me safe
They've kept me stoic
They've kept me locked in my own cell

I'm too far from home

I'm not threatened, by every pair of legs you watch go by
I don't cringe when you stare at women, it's just a thing called guy
I don't notice your side ways glances or where your loyalty lies
I'm secure and out of me, it's hard to get a rise

I'm not jealous
I don't get moved my much
I'm not enraged
Not insecure as such
Not going insane
Rational stays in touch

We share a culture same vernacular
Love of physical humor and time spent alone
You with your penchant for spontaneous events
For sticky and raspy, unearthed and then gone

You are a gift promised sent with a wink
With tendencies for conversations that raise bars
You are a sage who is fueled by compassion
Comes to nooks and crannies, is bound for all stars

Deadlines, meetings and contracts all breached
D-days and structure responsibility

Have-to's and need-to's and get-to's by three
Eleventh hours and upset employees

I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you'd think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air

I rather face all on top of my face
I am the perfect target screen
For your blindly fueled rage
I bare the brunt of your long buried pain
I don't mind helping you out
But I want you to remember my name

It's not all me
It's not all my fault
I need remind you, but I won't take it all on

Past riddled rage
I see the buttons I engage
Is my dignity in place?

Fourteen years
Thirty minutes
Fifteen seconds I've
Held this grudge

Eleven songs
Four full journals
Thoughts of punishment
I've expended

Not in contact
Not a letter
Such communication
Telepathic
You've been vilified
Used as fodder
You deserve a piece
Of every record

But who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now

I won't see my dear friends as much
Male friends especially, I'll no longer be in touch
I'll change my hobbies to match yours
I'll stop reading my favorite books
I won't spend all this selfish time alone
I'll cater to you and hang on your every word

I'll be subservient and spineless
I'll lick your boots as empty shells
I'll be opinion less and silent

I can be a nightmare of the grandest kind

I can withhold like it's going out of style

I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen

And you've never met anyone who's as positive as I am sometimes

You see everything, you see every part

You see all my light and you love my dark

You dig everything of which I'm ashamed

There's not anything to which you can't relate

I am the harm which you inflict.
I am your brilliance and frustration.
I'm the nuclear bombs if they're to hit.
I am your immaturity and your indignance.
I am your misfits and your praised.
I am your doubt and your conviction.
I am your charity and your rape.
I am your grasping and expectation.
I see you averting your glances.
I see you cheering on the war.

Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed
You're uninvited
An unfortunate slight

Must be strangely exciting
To watch the stoic squirm
Must be somewhat heartening
To watch shepherd need shepherd
But you you're not allowed
You're uninvited

[Chorus:]
Oh, Please
Fate stay with me, and guide me along my way
There has been so many problems
So please stay, please, stay
Fate stay with me, will you help me on my way
Will you end my troubles
Will you please stay, please...

I wanted money and hope and
A dream to carry me forever
This is all the hope I got left
Help me to get it together, now

I can be a nightmare of the grandest kind

I can withhold like it's going out of style

I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen

And you've never met anyone who's as positive as I am sometimes

You see everything, you see every part

You see all my light and you love my dark

You dig everything of which I'm ashamed

There's not anything to which you can't relate

I won't see my dear friends as much
Male friends especially, I'll no longer be in touch
I'll change my hobbies to match yours
I'll stop reading my favorite books
I won't spend all this selfish time alone
I'll cater to you and hang on your every word

I'll be subservient and spineless
I'll lick your boots as empty shells
I'll be opinion less and silent

Fourteen years
Thirty minutes
Fifteen seconds I've
Held this grudge

Eleven songs
Four full journals
Thoughts of punishment
I've expended

Not in contact
Not a letter
Such communication
Telepathic
You've been vilified
Used as fodder
You deserve a piece
Of every record

But who's it hurting now?
Who's the one that's stuck?
Who's it torturing now

Deadlines, meetings and contracts all breached
D-days and structure responsibility

Have-to's and need-to's and get-to's by three
Eleventh hours and upset employees

I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you'd think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air

I rather face all on top of my face
I am the perfect target screen
For your blindly fueled rage
I bare the brunt of your long buried pain
I don't mind helping you out
But I want you to remember my name

It's not all me
It's not all my fault
I need remind you, but I won't take it all on

Past riddled rage
I see the buttons I engage
Is my dignity in place?

We share a culture same vernacular
Love of physical humor and time spent alone
You with your penchant for spontaneous events
For sticky and raspy, unearthed and then gone

You are a gift promised sent with a wink
With tendencies for conversations that raise bars
You are a sage who is fueled by compassion
Comes to nooks and crannies, is bound for all stars

I'm not threatened, by every pair of legs you watch go by
I don't cringe when you stare at women, it's just a thing called guy
I don't notice your side ways glances or where your loyalty lies
I'm secure and out of me, it's hard to get a rise

I'm not jealous
I don't get moved my much
I'm not enraged
Not insecure as such
Not going insane
Rational stays in touch

Why no one will help me
I am too dumb I am too smart
They'll not understand me
I am lonely
They'll hate me
And there is not enough time
It's too hard to help me
And god wants me to work
No resting no lazy

These excuses how they served me so well
They've kept me safe
They've kept me stoic
They've kept me locked in my own cell

I'm too far from home

Every time you raise your voice
I see the greener grass
Every time you run for cover
I see this pasture
Every time we're in a funk
I picture a different choice
Every time we're in a rut
This distant grandeur

My tendency to want to do away feels natural
My urgency to dream of softer places feels understandable

The only way out is through
The faster we're in the better

How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solvable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you

How to keep people at arms length and never get to close
How to mistrust the ones who supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone

You found the right man in the right place
Once in a while you meet him face to face
It was love at first sight
Honey you've gotta fight for his love, for his love
He feels the same way, I think you know it
You can't be afraid to show it
When will this hidden emotion
Give you the notion'
To make the first move
Make the first move
You gotta get it straight
Oh dear don't wait

How to stay paralyzed by fear of abandonment
How to defer to men in solvable predicaments
How to control someone to be a carbon copy of you
How to have that not work and have them run away from you.

How to keep people at arm's length and never get too close
How to mistrust the ones you supposedly love the most
How to pretend you're fine and don't need help from anyone