One Fierce Beer Coaster lyrics

Bloodhounds shall cruise rendezvous
Break curfew new trip ensues
You never know
Bloodhounds just go
Pack backpack up for down the road
No change of clothes but change for tolls
Pack of No-Doz Rolos and Skoal
Old Milwaukee Jolt black coffee
Sugar Daddy Rand McNally
A pack of Jacks those orange Tic-Tacs
Glen Miller tracks roll of Kodak
The phantom black stacked Pontiac

Yo, Bloodhound Gang and Rob Van Winkle together on this track.

Stop as we drop this bomb
Blow up this place like another Vietnam
Heavy like a Tyson blow to the dome
Back up son give me room give me room
To set it off like this don't give it up
I'm all up in you 'til you just can't get enough
Real hard to the bone you want more?
I sneak up on you like a sniper at your back door

The roof the roof the roof is on fire
The roof the roof the roof is on fire
The roof the roof the roof is on fire
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn
Burn motherfucker burn

Hello my name is Jimmy Pop and I'm a dumb white guy
I'm not old or new but middle school fifth grade like junior high
I don't know mofo if y'all peeps be buggin' givin' props to my ho 'cause she fly

Got the mic in my hand but can I make you understand
That a-hole bands have a-hole fans?
Bloodhound's the name and the Gang's to blame
Like Chan n' Chin the Siamese twins it's one in the same
So Fame ain't gonna live forever
Never worryin' about dyin' 'cause it can't be any better
But whatever happens to happen always happens for the worst

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant, I'll have the Poo Poo Platter.

My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many pushups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get

Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig

This beat is my recital
I think it's very vital
To rock a rhyme
That's right on time
It's tricky tricky yo here we go

It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

And now ladies and gentlemen, here's the event you've all been waiting for.

You came twice last year like a Sears catalog
'Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg
Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seein' God
'Cause girl I'll get you pantin' like you're Pavlov's dog
Like a DC-1

Lift your head up high and blow your brains out

Do you still go to raves? Do you think Christ saves?
Do you spend your days in a Purple Haze?
Do you contemplate what a Grape Nut is?
Or could you live drinkin' your own whiz?
Are you Hooked On A Feeling? Are you hooked on gin and tonics?
Are you hooked on fistin'? Are you Hooked On Phonics?
Did you ever have sex with a box of Kleenex?

Bloodhound Gangs records called One Fierce Beer Coaster
and on the front of the record theres a picture of a beer coaster.
So the record looks like a beer coaster,
thats some funny fuckin shit motherfucker,

That shit wack, that shits funny,
That shits funny and wack,
OMG woo woo woohoo!!

I'm Jimmy Pop here in a jiffy heat me up and add oil
I'm like a zit a wart a corn a cyst a festerin' boil
I get under your skin and I sebaceously form
I'm as deep as the plot to an amateur gay porn
Keep ya hungry for more like Bangladesh
Then I'll bjorg da bjorg da bjorg ya like the Swedish Chef
'Cause I'm one of a kind and kinda hard to find

Why is everybody always pickin' on me?

The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor
He clocked the doctor 'cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca
The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me
I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a wookie

What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son

Are those numchucks in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Let me take you back to the day that I met my China Girl
When I landed a Pam like on the San Fran Real World
I was sweatin' like a vegetable inside of a wok
I'd never been to Asia Minor but I was gonna Bangkok
Like Kristy Yamaguchi I had to break the ice
Should I talk about Mothra M.A.S.H. or shrimp-fried rice?

Yeah, well I sing like an amputee though. Why?
'Cause can't hold a note, can't carry a tune.

Knock knock Mr. Rogers it's Mr. McFeelie
I've brought you a letter Speedy Delivery
Well Mr. McFeelie if there's postage due
You can go fuck yourself like Captain Kangaroo

I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend
But in the end I still have no friends

Do do do do do do do do do