Not a Pretty Girl lyrics

You think you're not worthy
I'd have to say I agree
I'm not worthy of you
You're not worthy of me
Which of us is deserving
Look at the human race
The whole planet at arm's length
And we don't deserve this place

What good is a poker face
When you've got an open hand
I was supposed to be cool about this
I remember cool was the plan
Tried to keep it all under wraps

Tiptoeing through the used condoms
Strewn on the piers
Off the west side highway
Sunset behind the skyline of jersey
Walking towards the water
With a fetus holding court in my gut
My body highjacked
My tits swollen and sore
The river has more colors at sunset
Than my sock drawer ever dreamed of
I could wake up screaming sometimes
But I don't

Fourteenth street and the garbage swirls like a cyclone
Three-o-clock in the afternoon
And I am going home
F-train is full of high school students
So much shouting, so much laughter
Last night's underwear
In my back pocket
Sure sign of the morning after

Take me home
Take me home and leave me there
Think I'm going to cry, don't know why

the heat is so great
it plays tricks with the eye
it turns the road to water
and then from water to sky
and there's a crack in the concrete floor
and it starts at the sink
there's a bathroom in a gas station
and i've locked myself in it to think

and back in the city
the sun bakes the trash on the curb
the men are pissing in doorways
and the rats run in herds
i've got a dream of your face

I'm sorry I didn't sound more excited on the phone
I'm sorry that after all these years
I've left you feeling unrequited and alone
Brought you to tears

I guess I never loved you quite as well
As the way you loved me
I guess I'll never really be able to tell you
How sorry I am

I don't know what it is about you
I just know it's not what it was

Wish I didn't have this nervous laugh
wish I didn't say half the stuff I say
wish I could just learn to cover my tracks
Guess I'm not concerned enough
About getting away with it

Every time I try to hold my tongue
It slips like a fish from a line
They say if you want to play
You should learn how to play dumb
I guess I can't bring myself
To waste your time

I am not a pretty girl
That is not what I do
I ain't no damsel in distress
And I don't need to be rescued
So put me down punk
Wouldn't you prefer a maiden fair
Isn't there a kitten
Stuck up a tree somewhere

I am not an angry girl
But it seems like
I've got everyone fooled
Every time I say something
They find hard to hear
They chalk it up to my anger

The air comes off the ocean
The city smells fishy
The air is full of fish and mystery
Whispering who, what, when
And I'm warning you I am weightless
And the wind is always shifting
So don't hang anything on me
If you ever want to see it again
I am telling you I'm different than you
Think I am

And you can dangle your carrot
But I ain't gunna reach for it
Cuz I need both my hands

Hour follows hour
Like water follows water
Everything is governed by the rule
Of one thing leads to another
You can't really place blame
Cuz blame is much to messy
Some was bound to get on you
While you were tryin to put it on me

Don't fool yourself
Into thinking things are simple
Nobody's lying still the stories don't line up
Why do you try to hold on

Squint your eyes and look closer
I'm not between you and your ambition
I am a poster girl with no poster
I am thirty-two flavors and then some
And I'm beyond your peripheral vision
So you might want to turn your head
Cuz someday you're going to get hungry
And eat most of the words you just said

Both my parents taught me about good will
And I have done well by their names

I want somebody who sees the pointlessness
And still keeps their purpose in mind
I want somebody who has a tortured soul
Some of the time
I want somebody who will either put out for me
Or put me out of my misery
Or maybe just put it all to words
And make me say, you know
I never heard it put that way
Make me say, what did you just say?

Got a garden of songs
Where I grow all my thoughts
Wish I could harvest one or two
For some small talk
I'm always starving for words
Whenever you're around
Nothing on my tongue
So much in the ground
Nothing on my tongue
So much in the ground

Half the time I got my gaze
Trained on your motel door
Fourth door from the end
Rest of the time my gaze lays

The big day has come
The bell is sounding
I run my hands through my hair one last time
Outside the prison walls
The town is gathering
People are trading crime for crime

Everyone needs to see the prisoner
They need to make it even easier
They see me as a symbol, and not a human being
That way they can kill me
Say it's not murder, it's a metaphor
We are killing off our own failure

Our father who art in a penthouse
Sits in his 37th floor suite
And swivels to gaze down
At the city he made me in
He allows me to stand and
Sollicit graffiti until
He needs the land I stand on
I in my darkened threshold
Am pawing through my pockets
The receipts, the bus schedules
The matchbook phone numbers
The urgent napkin poems
All of which laundering has rendered

I know so many white people
I mean, where do I start?
The trouble with white people
Is you can't tell them apart
I'm so bad with names and dates and times
But I'm big on faces
That is, except for mine

I believe you when you tell me
We've met before
This time you've got my interest
This time you've got the floor
Why don't you go and tell me something
I don't already know

I will lean into you
And you can be the wind
I will open up my mouth
And you can come rushing in
You can rush in so hard
And make it so I can't breathe
I breathe too much anyway
I can do that anyday

I just wish I knew who you were
I wish you'd make yourself known
Probably you don't know I'm her
The woman you want to call home
I'll keep my ear to the wall

You gotta have the right tools
For every job
So I invite myself in
Through a hole in the fence
I am tripping through the junkyard
Scanning over the piles
The thin cats raise their skin in defense
I know he's watching me
I can see him through the cracks
His eyes are small and shy on my back
He says his name is Jason
He lives in the last trailer on the right
And he'll be seven

I saw on the poster
My name was printed
Just a little bit smaller
I can tell you need to stand
Just a little bit taller
No one ever talks about it
But no one can disguise
The cloud of competition
That's hanging behind their eyes
There's more bad blood
In this bar than there is beer
And it's subtle but it still sucks
And I want out of here

We got egos like hairdos

My lipstick
Jumped ship
To a styrofoam cup
With the coffee gone
The conversation strong
All I got left to give
Baby, is up
But sentiments like shadows grow
Oh so long

Guess I gotta go
Don't get up
Don't cry
It's really very simple
Just kiss my cheek and say goodbye
I never really go anywhere anyway
I just pass through from time to time

Bye bye baby
Baby bye bye

Sitting in the boardroom
The I'm-so-bored room
Listening to the suits
Talk about their world
They can make straight lines
Out of almost anything
Except for the line of my upper lip when it curls
Dressed in my best greasy skin and squinty eyes
I'm the only part of summer here
That made it inside
In the air-conditioned building
Decorated with coporate flair
I wonder

I'm not hurting anyone
I'm just telling my truth
And if there
If there is something wrong
Then maybe
There's something wrong with you
What's the big deal
Get over it
Relax
Just 'cause I do up in your face
What other people do behind your back
Why we all gotta look
Gotta act the same
I say
If you're born a lion
Don't bother trying to act tame
Everything I do

I'm still here because
I've got nothing else to do
You're an asshole
But I'm getting used to you
I like the fact that
You talk incessantly
I got a thing for assholes
Who tell good stories

I think that drinking
Is the only thing that you do right
You're gonna self-destruct
I think that's what I like
You like me so you try and make me
Feel like shit
I think it's kind of funny yeah

How come I can pick my ears
But not my nose
Who made up that rule anyway
How can you say that's the way it is
That's just the way it goes
Why don't you decide for yourself
What you can do
And what you can say

How come I can pick my friends
But not my enemies
What is it about me that offends
What is it about me
'Cause you know I'm only five foot two
And I'm giggly wiggly

State trooper thinks I drive too fast
Pulled me over to tell me so
I say out here on the prarie
Any speed is too slow
I miss brooklyn I miss my crew
Let's start over
I missed my cue
Guess I just forgot
Who I was talking to

I should have recognized
That fierce look in his eyes
I've seen it in the mirror
So many times
He's going to put his two cents in
'Cause he's got a gun

the air comes off the ocean
the city smells fishy
the air is full of fish and mystery
whispering who, what, when
I am warning you I am weightless
and the wind is always shifting
so don't hang anything on me
if you ever want to see it again
I am telling you I'm different than you
think I am

and you can dangle your carrot
but I ain't gunna reach for it
cuz I need both my hands