This is a public service announcement brought to you in part by Slim Shady
The views and events expressed here are totally fucked and are not necessarily the views of anyone
However, the events and suggestions that appear on this album are not to be taken lightly
Children should not partake in the listening in this album with laces in their shoes Slim Shady is not responsible for your actions

Chorus: repeat 2X

Hi! My name is.. (what?) My name is.. (who?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady
Hi! My name is.. (huh?) My name is.. (what?)
My name is.. {scratches} Slim Shady

Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
for one second?

[Eminem]
Hi kids! Do you like violence? (Yeah yeah yeah!)

{sound of static}

[announcer]
Meet Eddie, twenty-three years old.
Fed up with life and the way things are going,
he decides to rob a liquor store.
("I can't take this no more, I can't take it no more homes")
But on his way in, he has a sudden change of heart.
And suddenly, his conscience comes into play...
("Shit is mine, I gotta do this.. gotta do this")

[Dr. Dre]

[Doctor] Scalpel
[Nurse] Here
[Doctor] Sponge
[Nurse] Here
[Doctor] Wait.. he's convulsing, he's convulsing!
[Nurse] Ah!
[Doctor] We're gonna have to shock him!
[Nurse] Oh my! Oh my God!
[Doctor] We're gonna have to shock him!
[Nurse] Oh my God!

[Eminem]
These are the results of a thousand electric volts
A neck with bolts, "Nurse we're losin him, check the pulse!"

Hey, what's going on, this is Paul Rosenberg, attorney of law.
Listen, I listened to the rough copy of your album
And uh, you know I've just got to be honest with you
Can you tone it down a little bit?
Because there's only so much I can explain.
Give me a call.

Life.. by Marshall Mathers
What is life?
Life is like a big obstacle
put in front of your optical to slow you down
And everytime you think you gotten past it
it's gonna come back around and tackle you to the damn ground
What are friends?
Friends are people that you think are your friends
But they really your enemies, with secret indentities
and disguises, to hide they true colors

Just the two of us.. (8X)

[Eminem]
Baby your da-da loves you (hey)
And I'ma always be here for you (hey) no matter what happens
You're all I got in this world
I would never give you up for nothin
Nobody in this world is ever gonna keep you from me
I love you

C'mon Hai-Hai, we goin to the beach
Grab a couple of toys and let da-da strap you in the car seat

*Girl talking on phone*
Justin, its Zoe, Um Kellie did not have me call you
however I just listened to Eminem in her car
It is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard
in my entire life and I seriously want to call his
fucking agent and tell them how fucking disgusting
he is, it like makes me upset, I am now nauseous and
I cant eat lunch, goodbye

OK, I'm going to attempt to drown myself
You can try this at home
You can be just like me!

Mic check one two.. we recordin?
I'm cancerous, so when I diss you wouldn't wanna answer this
If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus
I strangled you to death then I choked you again
Then break your fuckin legs till your bones poke through your skin

I never meant to
Give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to
Bring you to my world
And now you're lying in the corner
Crying

(Cheers and applause)

I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
i never meant to bring you to my world and now your sitting in the corner cyring
And now its my fault my fault

I went to John's rave with Ron and Dave
And met a new wave blonde babe with half of her head shaved

[G] Eminem as Susan (the girl)
[D] Eminem as Dave
[J] Eminem as John
[R] Eminem as Ron

Chorus: repeat 2X {Eminem singing}

I never meant to give you mushrooms girl
I never meant to bring you to my world
Now you sitting in the corner crying
And now it's my fault my fault

[Eminem]
I went to John's rave with Ron and Dave
And met a new wave blonde babe with half of her head shaved

Ken: Let's call this motherfucker.

[dials operator]

Ken: Oh, fuck yeah... give him a piece of my mind... piece of my ass.

[operator comes on]

Operator: Thanks for waiting. Hello, may I help you?

Ken: Oh, thank you. I need to make a collect call.

Operator: What number?

Ken: Oh... the number's [censored]

Operator: At the tone, please say your name.

[Beep]

[Girl] Hmm-hmm-hmhmhmmhm.. ahhh, whooooo!! Shit
[Em] Yo, mic check
Testing one, two, um... twelve
(whattup whattup whattup.. Outsidaz)
[Em] This is my dance song (Outsidaz)
Can you hear me?
(Rah Digga, Pacewon, Young Zee)
[Em] Aight, ay turn my headphones up
(bust it bust it)

[Eminem]
My favoite color is red, like the blood shed
from Kurt Cobain's head, when he shot himself dead

Ah yeah, yo!
This song is dedicated to all the happy people
All the happy people who have real nice lives
And who have no idea whats it like to be broke as fuck

Verse One:

I feel like I'm walking a tight rope, without a circus net
I'm popping perkasets, I'm a nervous wreck
I deserve respect; but I work a sweat for this worthless check

Intro: Frogg

Whoah!
A get your hands in the air, and get to clappin 'em
and like, back and forth because ah
this is.. what you thought it wasn't
It beez.. the brothers representin' the Dirty Dozen
I be the F-R-O the double G *coughing in background*
And check out the man he goes by the name of er...

Verse One: Eminem

Slim Shady, brain dead like Jim Brady

[Soppy romantic music plays in the background]

Roger : Skylar Montgomery?

Montgomery : What do you want from me Roger?

Roger : I know it was you all along messing around with my dear Veronica!

Montgomery : Wait a minute, you hold hold it right there. Me and that woman
love each other.

Roger : Love? What do you know of love?

Chorus: Repeat 2X

I dont know why this world keep turning
Round and Round
But I wish it would stop, and let me off right now

Yes man
As the World Turns
We all experience things in life
Trials and Tribulations
That we all must go through
When someone wants to test us
When someone tries our patience

[Eminem]
I hang with a bunch of hippies
and wacky tobacco planters
Who swallow lit roaches

[Eminem]
Who came through with two glocks to terrorize your borough (huh?)
Told you how to slap dicks and murder your girl (I did!)
Gave you all the finger and told you to sit and twirl
Sold a billion tapes and still screamed, Fuck the world!
(I'm Slim Shady..) so come and kill me while my name's hot
And shoot me twenty-five times in the same spot (Ow!)
I think I got a generation brainwashed

Artist: Eminem f/ Royce Da Five-Nine
[intro]

[Cowboy]
I reckon you ain't familiar with these here parts
You know, there's a story behind that there saloon
Twenty years ago, two outlaws took this whole town over
Sheriffs couldn't stop em
Quickest damn gun slingers I've ever seen
Got murdered in cold blood
That ol' saloon there was their lil' home away from home

[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. am I afraid of death..
Hell yeah I'm afraid of death
I don't want to die yet
A lot of people think.. that I worship the devil..
that I do all types of.. retarded shit
Look, I can't change the way I think
And I can't change the way I am
But if I offended you Good
Cause I still don't give a fuck

I'm zonin off of one joint, stoppin a limo