(feat. Guy Chambers)

I wouldn't be so alone
The they knew my name in every home
Kevin Spacey would call on the phone
But I'd be too busy
Come back to the old ville and dine
Cameron Diaz give me a sign
I'd make you smile all the time
Your conversation would compliment mine

I will talk and Hollywood will listen
See them bow and my every word
Mr Spielberg look just what you're missing

Oh the shark has pretty teeth, dear
And he shows them pearly white
Just a jack knife has MacHeath, dear
And he keeps it out of sight

When the shark bites with his teeth, dear
Scarlet billows start to spread
Fancy gloves though wears MacHeath, dear
So there's not a trace of red

On the sidewalk, Sunday morning
Lies a body oozing life
Someone's sneaking round the corner

(feat. Nicole Kidman)

I know I stand in line
Until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance
I know that there's a chance
You won't be leaving with me

Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place
And have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you

I can see it in your eyes

Do nothing till you hear from me
Pay no attention to what's said
Why one should tear the seam of anyone's dream
Is over my head

Do nothing till you hear from me
At least consider our romance
If you should take the word of others you've heard
I haven't a chance

True, I've been seen with someone new
But does that mean that I'm untrue
While we're apart, the words in my heart

When I was seventeen, it was a very good year.
It was a very good year for small town girls and soft summer nights.
We'd hide from the light on the village green when I was seventeen.
When I was twenty-one, it was a very good year.
It was a very good year for city
girls who lived up the stairs
With perfume hair that came undone
when I was twenty-one.

A buzzard took a monkey for a ride in the air,
The monkey thought that everything
was on the square.
The buzzard tried to throw the monkey
off his back,
The monkey grabbed his neck and said,
"Now listen, Jack..."

Straighten up and fly right,
Straighten up and fly right
Straighten up and fly right
Cool down, papa, don't you blow your top.
Ain't no use in divin',
What's the use in jivin'

(feat. Jon Lovitz)

Have you heard
The coast of Maine just got caught in a hurricane
Well did you evah
What a swell party this is!
Have you heard that poor dear
Blanche got run down by an avalanche
Well, did you evah
What a swell party this is!
What daiquiris!
What sherry, please!
What burgundy!
What pommery!
Have you heard
Professor Munch ate his wife and divorced his lunch

I knew a man Bojangles
And he'll dance for you
In worn out shoes

With silver hair a ragged shirt
And baggy pants
He would do the old soft shoe

He would jump so high
Jump so high
Then he'd lightly touch down

He told me of the time he worked with
Minstrel shows
Travelling throughout the south

He spoke with tears of fifteen years
How his dog and he
They would travel about.

It's quarter to three, there's no one in the place
Except you and me
So set 'em' up Joe, I got a little story
I think you should know
We're drinking my friend, to the end
Of a brief episode
Make it one for my baby
And one more for the road
I know the routine, put another nickel
In the machine
I feel kind of bad, can't you make the music
Easy and sad
I could tell you a lot, but it's not

Ev'ry night I sit here by my window (window)
Starin' at the lonely avenue (avenue)
Watching lovers holdin' hands 'n' laughin' (ha ha ha)
thinkin' 'bout the things we used to do

[CHORUS]
(Thinkin' bout things) Like a walk in the park
(Things) Like a kiss in the dark
(Things) Like a sailboat ride
(Yeah-yeah) What about the night we cried
Things like a lover's vow
Things that we don't do now

How lucky can one guy be
I kissed her and she kissed me
Like the fella once said,
"Ain't that a kick in the head"
The room was completely black,
I hugged her and she hugged back
Like the sailor said, quote,
"Ain't that a hole in the boat"

My head keeps spinnin',
I go to sleep and keep grinnin'
If this is just the beginnin',
my life is gonna be bee-yoo-tee-ful

(feat. Rupert Everett)

There are many many crazy things
That will keep me loving you
And with your permission
May I list a few

The way you wear your hat
The way you sip your tea
The memory of all that
No they can't take that away from me

The way your smile just beams
The way you sing off key
The way you haunt my dreams
No they can't take that away from me

Have you met Miss Jones
Someone said as we shook hands
She was just Miss Jones to me

Then I said Miss Jones
You're a girl who understands
I'm a man who must be free.

And all at once I lost my breath
And all at once was scared to death
And all at once I own the earth and sky

Now I met Miss Jones
And well keep on meeting till we die
Miss Jones and I

And all at once I lost my breath

(feat. Jonathan Wilkes)

[spoken]
[Robbie: (american accent)] Johnny and Robbie
[Jonathon:] What you talking like that for, you're from Stoke!
[Robbie:] I dunno but I can't stop here pally

Like the wallpaper sticks to the wall
Like the seashore clings to the sea
Like you'll never get rid of your shadow
You'll never get rid of me

Let all the others fight and fuss

Somewhere beyond the sea
Somewhere waiting for me
My lover stands on golden sands
And watches the ships that go sailing

Somewhere beyond the sea
He's watching for me
If I could fly like birds on high
Then straight to his arms I'd go sailing
It's far beyond a star, it's near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
My heart will lead me there soon

We'll meet beyond the shore