[spoken]
[KG:] Dude, we gotta fuckin' write something new. C'mon.
[strums]
[JB:] I don't like that. So far ba--, off to a bad start.
[strums again]
[JB:] Better, closer, warmer.
[strums again]
[JB:] That's it. Okay.

[sung]
I love ya baby but all I can think about is
Kielbasa sausage, your butt cheeks is warm.
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey,

KG:Jack
JB:yeah
KG:do you think some people
do you think that there's some people
that arent really
that are actually robots
living among us
JB:No
KG:that we cant tell
JB:No we dont have the technology yet
but rage
rage
KG:yeah
JB:rage
KG:yeah
JB:you know what I was thinking?
stop playing
I was thinking of a fucking brilliant song
KG:yeah?
JB:check it out.

[spoken]
This is the greatest and best song in the worlds... Tribute.

Long time ago me and my brother Kyle here,
we was hitchhikin' down a long and lonesome road.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon... in the middle... of the road.
And he said:
[sung]
"Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls." (soul)
[spoken]
Well me and Kyle, we looked at each other,

High above the mucky-muck, castle made of clouds,
There sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly.
Not much to say when you're high above the mucky-muck.
Yeah, yeah.
Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power
Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man

[spoken]
Now it's time for me to tell you about Young Nastyman,

We should talk about the hard fucking no
The hard fucking?
Because i think its pretty common complaint
Yeah the ladies don't really like the hard fucking
You feel like your giving them some extra juice
Their not in to that
You think your like taken it to the limit
Maybe they are though in to that
You know what the test is?
You just say get on top honey
You do what you like

This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely
You don't always have to fuck her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And fuckin give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna Fuck you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly

Climb upon my faithful steed,
Then we gonna ride,
gonna smoke some weed.
Climb upon my big-ass steed,
And ride, ride, ride.

Eeeee-eee-eee-eeeee-eeeee-eee-eee-eeeee-eeeee-eeeee-eeeee,
What's the name of the song,
Explosivo!
Don't know what it's about,
But it's good to go.
What's the name of my girlfriend
I don't know,
But she's built like the shit
And she's good to go, go,

Dio has rocked for a long, long time,
Now it's time for him to pass the torch.
He has songs of wildebeests and angels,
He has soared on the wings of a demon.

It's time to pass the torch,
You're too old to rock, no more rockin' for you.
We're takin' you to a home,
But we will sing a song about you.

And we will make sure that you're very well taken care of.

(Kyle Gass snores loudly)

Jack Black: Oh my god. Oh my god, I've done it.
(shouts) Cage! Come here, I want you!
Kyle: What? What?? God! I'm sleeping, dude!
What are you talking about...
Jack: Oh my god.
Kyle: What?
Jack: I did it.
Kyle: What d'ya do?
Jack: I've done it. I fuckin' did it.
The most powerful tool in singing technology since yodelling, dude.
Oh my god, inward singing.

The road is fuckin' hard,
The road is fuckin' tough-ah,
There's no question that-eh
It is rough, rough stuff.
It's the fuckin' road my friend
But it's the only road I know.
When I'm lunchin' on a tasty boosh
Right after the show.
You g-go go go!

The road is fuckin' hard,
It's also really fuckin' tough,
There's no question that
It don't take no guff.

KG: Do you think that um, do you think that when the album, when this is out...
JB: Yeah?
KG: Do you think it will make us um, more attractive to the ladies?
JB: Pshh, yeah, in fact, I been getting ready.
KG: Yeah?
JB: Yeah, I been doin cock pushups.
KG: Cock Pushups?
JB: Yeah.
KG: What are those?
JB: Its where you fuckin lay down flat on the ground.
KG: Yeah...

Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee,
Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee,
We're talkin' fuckin' Lee.
I had a friend named Lee,
He cast a spell a spell on me.
If me and Lee and KG could be three,
Flyin' free Tenaciously,
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee,
I'd propose on bended knee
To Lee Lee Lee, Lee Lee Lee,
Lee Lee,
Lee Lee Lee, Lee Lee Lee,
Lee Lee,
Le-Lut-Le-Le-Le-Lee Lee Lee,

Brrrrrriiiinngggg, Brrrriiiiinnnnggggg
*click*
Kyle: Two Kings
Jack: Hey KG
Kyle: Hey
Jack: How's It Goin'?
Kyle: Good, Good...
Jack: Whatta ya doin?..
Kyle: Aw, god I was just...
Jack: I Love You...
Kyle: What You Say??
Jack: I said I love you man, just wanted to say it
Kyle: really, thanks, thank you, thats awesome, fuckin' awesome,
ya know, thats cool you can say that

Friendship is rare,
Do you know what I'm sayin' to you
Friendship is rare.
My derriere,
When you find out much later
That they don't really care.
It's rare to me, can't you see
It's rare to me, can't you see

Oh shit there's a bear,
Could you hand me that shotgun buddy,
Also that chair
We're fighting a bear
Now your life's in grave danger
And you don't even care.

JB: God, I'm fuckin hungry. Let me check the fridge... Dude, where's my fuckin
schnitzel? Hey, wake up. Wake up you asshole, wake up.
KG: Whahahat? Wh?
JB: Wake up.
KG: What?
JB: You ate my fuckin schnitzel.
KG: What?
JB: You ate my fuckin schnitzel.
KG: Well it was in there. If you put it in there, then it's fair game.
JB: Yeah?
KG: For anybody that wants to eat it.

With karate I'll kick your ass
Here to Tiennamen Square.
Oh yeah, muthafucka,
I'm 'onna kick your fuckin' derriere yeah.
You broke the rules,
Now I'll pull out all your pubic hair,
You muthafucka.
You muthafucka.

Kyle betrayed me
And then he lied tried to hide
And I died deep inside
And you know the reason why.

I'm 'onna kick your ass
From here to right over there.

[Dave Grohl (spoken):] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-6-6!

[sung]
It doesn't matter if it is good,
It only matters if it rocks.
The main thing that we do is to rock your socks off.
There's no such thing as a rock prodigy,
'Cause rock 'n roll is bogus, right KG? (right!)
Only thing that really matters is a classical sauce.
And that's why me and KG are classically trained

JB: Kage...
KG: Yeah?
JB: Let's go to this drive-thru.
(Motor Sounds)
KG: Oh good, I'm starvin'.
Drive-thru guy: (mumbles)
JB: Yeah, um...ah
Drive-thru guy: May I have your order?
JB: Yeah, hold on a second, I'm lookin' at the menu
Drive-thru guy: okay
JB: ...ah l-
Drive-thru guy: would you like special curly fries?

[spoken]
Damn, a hard day's rockin'. Better slip off ma shoes.
Maybe give a little stretch, and a bend.
Dip m'toe to jacuzzi, baby. Slip out this book:
The Buttress of Windsor. Ho ho ho, who's this How's it goin'
[sung]
That's the first thin' I say to you.
How's it goin' Are you flowin'
Listen honey,
Thinkin' 'bout a couple things to say to you,
Showin', growin',

All you people up there,
In city Hall
You’re F**king it up
For the people that’s in the streets

This is a song
For the people in the streets
And not for city hall
Oh you Mother F**kers in the streets
Its time to rise up
Above the children and F**ken rise

Lots of times when me and Kg are watchin
All the f**cken S**t
That goes down in City hall

It was a big day on Jesus Ranch, Jesus Ranch.

He was harvesting a big tomato, it was in the sand, alright.

I'm taking a walk in the woods, and it's nice outside.
Smells of shit, Liga Guinggligagiggagoogwayogo.

I come upon a silver, striped mushroom and I fa la la la ly la ly.

And I fly, fly.

It was a big day on Jesus Ranch, Jesus Ranch.

Jesus.

KG: Do you think that um, do you think that when the album, when this is out...
JB: Yeah?
KG: Do you think it will make us um, more attractive to the ladies?
JB: Pshh, yeah, in fact, I been getting ready.
KG: Yeah?
JB: Yeah, I been doin cock pushups.
KG: Cock Pushups?
JB: Yeah.
KG: What are those?
JB: Its where you fuckin lay down flat on the ground.
KG: Yeah...

JB: Kage...
KG: Yeah?
JB: Let's go to this drive-thru.
(Motor Sounds)
KG: Oh good, I'm starvin'.
Drive-thru guy: (mumbles)
JB: Yeah, um...ah
Drive-thru guy: May I have your order?
JB: Yeah, hold on a second, I'm lookin' at the menu
Drive-thru guy: okay
JB: ...ah l-
Drive-thru guy: would you like special curly fries?

Brrrrrriiiinngggg, Brrrriiiiinnnnggggg
*click*
Kyle: Two Kings
Jack: Hey KG
Kyle: Hey
Jack: How's It Goin'?
Kyle: Good, Good...
Jack: Whatta ya doin?..
Kyle: Aw, god I was just...
Jack: I Love You...
Kyle: What You Say??
Jack: I said I love you man, just wanted to say it
Kyle: really, thanks, thank you, thats awesome, fuckin' awesome,
ya know, thats cool you can say that

We should talk about the hard fucking no
The hard fucking?
Because i think its pretty common complaint
Yeah the ladies don't really like the hard fucking
You feel like your giving them some extra juice
Their not in to that
You think your like taken it to the limit
Maybe they are though in to that
You know what the test is?
You just say get on top honey
You do what you like

(Kyle Gass snores loudly)

Jack Black: Oh my god. Oh my god, I've done it.
(shouts) Cage! Come here, I want you!
Kyle: What? What?? God! I'm sleeping, dude!
What are you talking about...
Jack: Oh my god.
Kyle: What?
Jack: I did it.
Kyle: What d'ya do?
Jack: I've done it. I fuckin' did it.
The most powerful tool in singing technology since yodelling, dude.
Oh my god, inward singing.

JB: God, I'm fuckin hungry. Let me check the fridge... Dude, where's my fuckin
schnitzel? Hey, wake up. Wake up you asshole, wake up.
KG: Whahahat? Wh?
JB: Wake up.
KG: What?
JB: You ate my fuckin schnitzel.
KG: What?
JB: You ate my fuckin schnitzel.
KG: Well it was in there. If you put it in there, then it's fair game.
JB: Yeah?
KG: For anybody that wants to eat it.

KG:Jack
JB:yeah
KG:do you think some people
do you think that there's some people
that arent really
that are actually robots
living among us
JB:No
KG:that we cant tell
JB:No we dont have the technology yet
but rage
rage
KG:yeah
JB:rage
KG:yeah
JB:you know what I was thinking?
stop playing
I was thinking of a fucking brilliant song
KG:yeah?
JB:check it out.

The road is fuckin' hard,
The road is fuckin' tough-ah,
There's no question that-eh
It is rough, rough stuff.
It's the fuckin' road my friend
But it's the only road I know.
When I'm lunchin' on a tasty boosh
Right after the show.
You g-go go go!

The road is fuckin' hard,
It's also really fuckin' tough,
There's no question that
It don't take no guff.

Spiderman Spiderman,
Does whatever a spider can.
(messing up) I-Is he strong? Listen bud.
He got the radioactive blood.
Hey there! There goes the Spiderman! OW!
Is he strong? Listen Bud.
He got the radioactive blood.
Can he swing from a thread?
Take a look, overhead, hey now!
There goes the Spiderman! OW!

Deep-and-Dark, comin' at 'em!

All you people up there,
In city Hall
You’re F**king it up
For the people that’s in the streets

This is a song
For the people in the streets
And not for city hall
Oh you Mother F**kers in the streets
Its time to rise up
Above the children and F**ken rise

Lots of times when me and Kg are watchin
All the f**cken S**t
That goes down in City hall

[spoken]
Damn, a hard day's rockin'. Better slip off ma shoes.
Maybe give a little stretch, and a bend.
Dip m'toe to jacuzzi, baby. Slip out this book:
The Buttress of Windsor. Ho ho ho, who's this How's it goin'
[sung]
That's the first thin' I say to you.
How's it goin' Are you flowin'
Listen honey,
Thinkin' 'bout a couple things to say to you,
Showin', growin',

[Dave Grohl (spoken):] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6-6-6!

[sung]
It doesn't matter if it is good,
It only matters if it rocks.
The main thing that we do is to rock your socks off.
There's no such thing as a rock prodigy,
'Cause rock 'n roll is bogus, right KG (right!)
Only thing that really matters is a classical sauce.
And that's why me and KG are classically trained
To rock your fuckin' socks off!

With karate I'll kick your ass
Here to Tiennamen Square.
Oh yeah, muthafucka,
I'm 'onna kick your fuckin' derriere yeah.
You broke the rules,
Now I'll pull out all your pubic hair,
You muthafucka.
You muthafucka.

Kyle betrayed me
And then he lied tried to hide
And I died deep inside
And you know the reason why.

I'm 'onna kick your ass
From here to right over there.

Friendship is rare,
Do you know what I'm sayin' to you
Friendship is rare.
My derriere,
When you find out much later
That they don't really care.
It's rare to me, can't you see
It's rare to me, can't you see

Oh shit there's a bear,
Could you hand me that shotgun buddy,
Also that chair
We're fighting a bear
Now your life's in grave danger
And you don't even care.

Lee, Lee, Lee, Lee,
Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee Lee,
We're talkin' fuckin' Lee.
I had a friend named Lee,
He cast a spell a spell on me.
If me and Lee and KG could be three,
Flyin' free Tenaciously,
Skinny-dippin' in a sea of Lee,
I'd propose on bended knee
To Lee Lee Lee, Lee Lee Lee,
Lee Lee,
Lee Lee Lee, Lee Lee Lee,
Lee Lee,
Le-Lut-Le-Le-Le-Lee Lee Lee,

The road is fuckin' hard,
The road is fuckin' tough-ah,
There's no question that-eh
It is rough, rough stuff.
It's the fuckin' road my friend
But it's the only road I know.
When I'm lunchin' on a tasty boosh
Right after the show.
You g-go go go!

The road is fuckin' hard,
It's also really fuckin' tough,
There's no question that
It don't take no guff.

Last week, Kyle quit the band,
Now we're back together, uh.
Misunderstanding, didn't understand.
It doesn't matter, now we're back together again.
A-la la la la la.
Couldn't split up Kato and Nash. (that's true)
Couldn't split up Tango and Cash.
That's also true!
This is our song of exultant joy because
We only came to kick some ass.
Rock the fuckin' house and kick some ass.

Dio has rocked for a long, long time,
Now it's time for him to pass the torch.
He has songs of wildebeests and angels,
He has soared on the wings of a demon.

It's time to pass the torch,
You're too old to rock, no more rockin' for you.
We're takin' you to a home,
But we will sing a song about you.

And we will make sure that you're very well taken care of.

Climb upon my faithful steed,
Then we gonna ride,
gonna smoke some weed.
Climb upon my big-ass steed,
And ride, ride, ride.

Eeeee-eee-eee-eeeee-eeeee-eee-eee-eeeee-eeeee-eeeee-eeeee,
What's the name of the song,
Explosivo!
Don't know what it's about,
But it's good to go.
What's the name of my girlfriend
I don't know,
But she's built like the shit
And she's good to go, go,

This is a song for the ladies
But fellas listen closely
You don't always have to fuck her hard
In fact sometimes that's not right to do
Sometimes you've got to make some love
And fuckin give her some smoochies too
Sometimes ya got to squeeze
Sometimes you've got to say please
Sometime you've got to say hey
I'm gonna Fuck you softly
I'm gonna screw you gently
I'm gonna hump you sweetly

High above the mucky-muck, castle made of clouds,
There sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly.
Not much to say when you're high above the mucky-muck.
Yeah, yeah.
Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power
Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man

[spoken]
Now it's time for me to tell you about Young Nastyman,

[spoken]
This is the greatest and best song in the worlds... Tribute.

Long time ago me and my brother Kyle here,
we was hitchhikin' down a long and lonesome road.
All of a sudden, there shined a shiny demon... in the middle... of the road.
And he said:
[sung]
"Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls." (soul)
[spoken]
Well me and Kyle, we looked at each other,

[spoken]
[KG:] Dude, we gotta fuckin' write something new. C'mon.
[strums]
[JB:] I don't like that. So far ba--, off to a bad start.
[strums again]
[JB:] Better, closer, warmer.
[strums again]
[JB:] That's it. Okay.

[sung]
I love ya baby but all I can think about is
Kielbasa sausage, your butt cheeks is warm.
I check my dipstick, you need lubrication honey,