I can't get to sleep tonight
No matter how hard I try
Cause it's cold and it's dark
And the wind does a whistlin'
And I can't seem to put out the light
Momma's been searching for baby
But baby been tryin' to get home
Cause it's cold and it's dark
And the moon cannot light the way
And Daddy's gone - (bye bye)

I'm just a babyyyyy

(crying)

Beelzeboss:
I AM COMPLETE!

Tenacious D:
(BOTH) Fuck

Beelzeboss:
YES YOU ARE FUCKED,
SHIT OUT OF LUCK!
NOW I'M COMPLETE AND MY COCK YOU WILL SUCK!
THIS WORLD WILL BE MINE,
AND YOU'RE FIRST IN LINE!
YOU BROUGHT ME THE PICK AND NOW YOU SHALL BOTH DIE!

Tenacious D:
(JB) Waaait, Waaait, Waaait you mother-fucker
We challenge you to a rock-off,
(BOTH) Give us one chance to rock your socks off

The mission is clear,
i'm going over there
I'm going to do the mission

I flip around the corner,
flat as a pancake
And then i- aww noo! A camera

Stay back here,
devise a plan
Dive into the bushes

(Chorus)
Against all odds
Infiltrate,
storm the gates!
storm the gates!

Ninja style,
samuria (Storm the gates!)
Metal pole,
climb that shit (Storm the gates)
Climb into that mother-fucker

Car chase city, that's the name of the game.
It was all proven, it was totally lame.
KG really fuckin' blew us a mess.
Now we're fuckin' headed for a total KAPOW.
Car chase city rollin' with my bud.
Not that it wasn't, but it totally was.
Car chase city, no more rough on the map!
Car chase city, now I'm takin' a crap!
Now it's gettin' heresy, we're shakin' the key!

Cant you see hes the man, let me hear you applaud
he is more than a man he's a shiny golden god.

If you think its time to fucking rock, and fucking roll, out of control,
well then you know you got to rock the block,
and fucking sock my fucking cock,
'cause when you rule, you fucking school all of the fools, out of their jewels,
'cause if you think its time,
if you think its time,

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
you know we will be rockin' cause it's fucking insane!

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
more precious than a diamond on a platinum chain!

In Venice Beach, there was a man named Kage
When he was buskin' he was all the rage.
He met Jables and he taught him well,
all the techniques that were developed in hell.
Cock pushups and the power slide,

dude i totally miss you,
i really fucking miss you,
im all alone,
all the time,
all the time,

dude i totally miss you,
the things we do together,
where have you gone?

totally miss the honesty,
and special times and honestly,
i totally miss the fucked up things you do,

dude i totally miss you,
i totally miss you,
dude i totally miss you,
all the time,

solo ( aaaaaaaaaah )

This is a song called the History of Tenacious D and its not just a list of bullshit that we've done in the past. Its a chronicling of our rise
To POWER!

We ride with kings on mighty steeds
Across the devil's plain.
We've walked with Jesus and his cross
He did not die in vain. No!

We've run with wolves, we've climbed K2,
Even stopped a moving train.

..::Jack Black (Narrator)::..
A long ass fuckin' time ago,
In a town called Kickapoo,
There lived a humble family
Religious through and through.
But yay there was a black sheep
And he knew just what to do.
His name was young J.B. and he refused to step in-line.
A vision he did see-eth
Fuckin' rockin' all the time.
He wrote a tasty jam and all the planets did align.

..::Jack Black (Son)::..

Augh, AUUUUUGH! Yeaye!

I do not need (he does not need)
A microphone (a microphone)
My voice is fucking (fucking)
Powerful

AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!

Auaaaaaye

Sorry... *talking*

I did not mean (he did not mean)
To blow your mind (to blow your mind)
But that shit happens to me, all the time

*SOLO*

Now take a look (take a look)
Tell me what you see (what you see)
We got the Pick, of Destiny

Sasquatch: Arrgggghhhh!
JB: Arrrggghhhh!
Sasquatch: That's good, lets go an adventure,
JB: Yeah, (la la la)
Sasquatch: I've got lots to show you, (la la laaa)
JB: Can i be a sasquatch too? (la la la)
Sasquatch: You already are la la la youre my son JB, my wittle baby sass,
(la la la la la la la la la la la la)
JB: Ahhh.
Sasquatch: Lets take a dip in the strawberry river, (la la la)
JB: Yay!

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
you know I will be rockin' cause it's fucking insane!

Cause it's the Pick!
Of Destiny child,
more precious than a diamond on a platinum chain!

In Venice Beach, there was a man named Kage
When he was buskin he was all the rage.
He met Jables and he taught him well,
all the techniques that were developed in hell.
Cock pushups and the power slide,

What's it gonna be Kyle?
You have to decide.
Tits or destiny?

Tits.

AAHHH OHHHH WAAHH OHHH

WHYYY GO!!

The government totally sucks
You motherfucker
The government totally sucks

Ben franklyn was a rebel indeed
He liked to get naked while he smoked on the weed
He was a genious but if he was here today
The government would fuck him up his righteous aayyy

Now let me tell you something about the government (uh huh)
They're fucking up the environment (say what?)

You can't kill the metal
The metal will live on

Punk rock tried to kill the metal
But they failed as they were smite to the ground

New wave tried to kill the metal
But they failed as they were stricken down to the ground

Grunge tried to kill the metal
Hahahahaha they failed as they were thrown to the ground

(Screaming) Aiieee Aiieee

(Harmonizing)
No one can destroy the metal