Hello. They Might Be Giants are happy to be on a radio program for the first time in their long-illustrious careers.
1985 has been a very good year for They Might Be Giants.
In January, Bill began at a new school.
Everyone liked him, And he likes everything.

32 Footsteps Leading To The Room
Where The Paint Don't Wanna Dry
32 Footsteps Running Down The Road
Where The Dirt Reaches The Sky
32 Feathers In My Brand New Indian Headdress
32 New Moons Shining In 32 Skies
What's The Reason?
Why'd She Go?
Where's My Baby?
I Don't Know
32 Footsteps, Counted Them Myself
32 Footsteps

(Bing-bang Bing-a-long
Cing-cang Cing-a-long
Ding-dang Ding-a-long
Day)

I was born in a light house
My mother was the sea
I crawled to school each morning
When it occured to me that
Lifes just a mood ring we're not allowed to see
And this is what it said to me:

My room's constantly small with rubber lining the walls
And the sun always calling my name
He calls when I'm alone
And he calls when I'm not home
And he calls when I'm stuck out in the rain

I'm insane

This Song Is Dedicated To All
Those Modernday Troopers Out There
And I Think I Know Who You Are

I Got To Get A Job
Got To Get Some Pay
My Son's Gotta Go To Art School
He's Leaving In Three Days
And The TV's In Esperanto
You Know That That's A Bitch
But Aleinations For The Rich
And I'm Feeling A-Poorer Every Day
A-Hey, Hey, Hey

Well, I Ain't Feeling Happy
About The State Of Things
In My Life

Here's hoping you don't (hoping you don't)
Become a robot (clang clang)
Clang, clang, whoops, too late
Here's hoping you don't (hoping you don't)
Become a robot (clang clang)
Clang, clang, whoops, too late

Let's stick together 'cause we're number 8
Let's stick to numbers 'cause we're great

Here's hoping you don't (hoping you don't)
Become a robot (clang clang)
Clang, clang, whoops, too late

I Took My Boat For A Car
I Took That Car For A Ride
I Was Trying To Get Somewhere
But Now I'm Following The Traces Of Your Fingernails
And Run Along The Windshield
On The Boat Of Car

Traces Of Your Fingernails
And Run Along The Windshield
On The Boat Of Car
On The Boat Of Car
On The Boat Of Car
On The Boat Of Car

Somebody's reading your mind
Damned if you know who it is
they're digging through all of your files
Stealing back your best ideas
You cover your windows with lead
Even keeping the pets outside
Then you hear a moment too late this sound coming over the phone

This is the spawning of the cage and aquarium
Don't wait a moment too soon
Used to be different, now you're the same

What's Gonna Happen To Chess Piece Face
There Go But I For My Face
All I Know Could Be Disfaced
By The Facts In The Life Of Chess Piece Face

I Don't Know Where He Lives
Or If He Knows To Sail
Or If Little Schemes Like This One
Ever Cross His Trail
But I Don't Believe He's Dreaming
Or If He Cares To Know
So I Shudder In My Lampshade

So, What's Gonna Happen To Chess Piece Face

Hey, hey, counterfeit fake
History wants you, they made a mistake
Hey, hey, counterfeit fake
History wants you, they made a mistake

Hey, hey, counterfeit fake
History wants you, they made a mistake
Hey, hey, counterfeit fake
History wants you, they made a mistake

I'm going down to Cowtown, down town,
The cow's a friend to me
Lives beneath the ocean and that's where I will be
Beneath the waves, the waves
And that's where I will be
I'm gonna see the cow beneath the sea
The yellow Roosevelt Avenue leaf overturned
The ador of aboreality is an adventure we have spurned, we've spurned
A new leaf overturned
It's a new leaf overturned

"Every once in a while a band comes along that changes the course of human history, and that band is They Might Be Giants."
Tom Poston, the New York Times.

"Like so many things I can't understand, they left my teeth chattering for more."
Peggy Cass, Aquarian Weekly

"Maestro! I say right on!"
Orson Bean, Sky and Telescope

The Day Marvin Gaye And Phil Ochs Got Married
The Trees All Waved Their Giant Arms
And Happiness Bled From Every Streetcorner
And Biplanes Bombed With Fluffy Pillows

The Day Marvin Gaye And Phil Ochs Got Married
The Trees All Waved Their Giant Arms
And Happiness Bled From Every Streetcorner
And Biplanes Bombed With Fluffy Pillows

Don't, don't, don't let's start
This is the worst part
I could believe for all the world
That you were my precious little girl
But don't, don't, don't let's start
I've got a weak heart
And I don't get around how you get around

Don't, Don't!

I don't want to live in this world anymore
I don't want to live in this world anymore

Don't, don't, don't let's start
This is the worst part

I think you have another song for us. Would you like to perform it?

What's the name of the song?

Oh, I think I know that one! Great, great.

Everything Right Is Wrong Again
Just Like In The Long, Long Trailer
All The Dishes Got Broken
And The Car Kept Drivin'
And Nobody Would Stop To Save Her

Wake Me When It's Over
Touch My Face
Tell Me Every Word Has Been Erased
Don't You Know The Reason
Why The Cupboard's Not Appealing
Don't You Get That Feeling That
Everything That's Right Is Wrong Again
You're A Weasel Overcome With Dinge

Fake out
Fake in
Fake it to me
What is fake?
Fake T.V.
Land of a thousand fake outs
Fake worse than death

In Buenos Aires
In Buenos Aires

Fake out
Fake in
Faker's delight
Fake your claim
Fake around the clock
Winner fake all
Three fakes, you're out

In Buenos Aires
In Buenos Aires

Mono dyo tragoudia eho kai trito molis vgei
De ksero pou vrika to ptoma mia kai tote itan ekei
Tora periplanomai ston tafo tis mousikis
Gia ta dyo tragoudia kai to trito molis vgei

Enas plousios mou eipe fere kota kai zoumi
Ftohopaido mou eipe pos de mporei na pei
Kai tora perimeno san kota to Theo epi ti ghi

Mono dyo tragoudia eho kai trito molis vgei

Sometimes I Feel Like Being Wispy
And Once In A While I Feel Like Being Dry
But We're Doomed And We're Drowned
By This Feeling We Surround
So I Hope That I Get Old Before I Die

OHHHH.....
It's A Long, Long Rope They Use
To Hang You Soon I Hope
And I Wonder Why This Hasn't Happened
Why? Why? Why?
And I Think About The Dirt
That I'll Be Wearing For A Shirt
And I Hope That I Get Old Before I Die

Sometimes I feel like being wispy
And once in a while I feel like being dry
But we're doomed and we're drowned by this feeling we surround
So I hope that I get old before I die

Ohhhhh
It's a long, long rope they use to hang you soon I hope
And I wonder why this hasn't happened
Why why why
And I think about the dirt that I'll be wearing for a shirt
And I hope that I get old before I die

Can we do that?
Can we do that?

I'm def
I'm def
I'm def
I'm listening to the radio

Got a job as a test pilot
Yes I got a job as a test pilot

I'm def
I never listen to the
I never listen to
I never listen to the ra-

I'm def

Got a job as a test pilot
Yes I got a job as a test pilot

I'm listening to the radio

We have our own song and we want to get it recorded

Never thought I'd fall
But now I hear the call
I'm getting sentimental over you
Things you say and do
Just thrill me through and through
I'm getting sentimental over you

Once I wondered why
I'd sit at home and sigh
I'm getting sentimental over you
Words cannot describe
This poetry inside
I'm getting sentimental over you

I thought I was happy, I could live with myself

Get out of the car
Put down the phone
Take off that stupid looking hat you wear
I'm going to die if you touch me one more time
Well I guess that I'm going to die no matter what

Love people are there
The smell of love is everywhere
You think it's always sensitive and good
You think that I want to be understood
I've got a match
Your embrace and my collapse

I built a little empire out of some crazy garbage
Called the blood of the exploited working class
But they've overcome their shyness
Now they're calling me "Your Highness"
And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God"
I destroyed a bond of friendship
And respect between the only people left
Who'd even look me in the eye
Now I laugh and make a fortune
Off the same ones that I tortured

There's something coming. There's a new car on the horizon.
It's coming very slowly. It makes a noise. It has kittens painted all over it.
With a new kind of fur. Cleaner, but with a unique smell.
Yet, one of these kittens is not prepared to have a good time. It stands alone.
Away from the crowd. It's your kind of kitten.

Lie still, little bottle, and shake my shaky hand
Black coffee's not enough for me, I need a better friend
One pill at the bottom is singing my favorite song
I know I must investigate
I hope that I can sing along

There's no time for metaphors cried the little pill to me
He said, "Life is a placebo masquerading as a simile"*
Well, I knew that pill was lying
Too gregarious, too nice

Can I have this last dance, my darling?
Can I have this last dance with you?
I wanna dance the whole night tonight

And can I have this last dance, my darling?
Can I have this last dance with you?
These are the words that he told to the fellow next door

Mainstream, U.S.A.
I flipped that guy the bird
Mainstream, U.S.A.
Is all I wanna say

Mainstream, U.S.A.
I flipped that guy the bird

Once a boy named Mister Me bemoaned a great regret
I've floundered in the misty sea, but can't abide its mystery
I wound up sad, you bet

So onward go and Edward Ho into the bounding main
Enjoy the show look out below but mind the misty sea
Or end up sad like Mister Me

He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad

All The People Are So Happy Now, Their Heads Are Caving In
I'm Glad They Are A Snowman In Protective Rubber Skin
But Every Little Thing's A Domino That Falls On Different Dots
And Crashes Into Everything That Tries To Make It Stop

And The Mirror, It Reflects A Tiny Dancing Skeleton
Surrounded By A Fleshy Overcoat And Swaddled In
A Furry Hat, Elastic Mask, A Pair Of Shiny Marble Dice

The mirror on the wall
Won't talk to me at all
Now that I have everything
The place inside the frame
Just doesn't look the same
Now that I have everything

I wasn't always so fortunate
But I knew what I had to do
To be well-to-do
And it had to do
With the things I had to do

And I don't want anything
I don't want anything
Now that I have everything
I can't tell things apart

There's only two songs in me
And I just wrote the third
Don't know where I got the inspiration
Or how I wrote the words
Spent my whole life digging up my music's shallow grave
For the two songs in me and the third one I just made

A rich man once told me,
"Hey life's a funny thing"
A poor man once told me that
He can't afford to speak
Now i'm in the middle like a bird without a beak

The possible dream
Finale of seem
The moment that some call eternal that some call insane
Now helmets on each head awaiting the first lead
The pageant is named the pencil rain

The infantry stands
And holds out its hands
The marshal's binoculars focus and skyward they train
They're searching the yonder blue
They look out for number two
The heraldry of the pencil rain

Piece of dirt, that is all I'm standing on today
Piece of dirt, the whole world has slipped away
I would climb the highest mountain just to jump into a fountain
Or to fly, I'd fly away

A woman's voice on the radio can convince you you're in love
A woman's voice on the telephone can convince you you're alone
But I set my sails so long ago they've revoked my sailor's badge

Rabid child stays at home, talks on a cb
Truckers pass calling out their handles to the kid
Chess piece face and the big duluth call her every day
Hammer down and rabbit ears are the only words they know

Hammer down
Hammer down, rabbit ears
Hammer down, rabbit ears
Hammer down, rabbit ears, hammer down

If you pass the rabid child say hammer down for me
The rabid child
The rabid child

In A World We Call Our Home
There's Lots Of Room To Roam
Plenty Of Time
To Turn Mistakes Into Rhyme
There's A Place For Those
Who Love They're Poetry
It's Just Across From The Sign
That Says "Pros Only"

So If You Like A Band
With A Chick Singer
Say Your Cup Of Tea
Is A Wall Of Trombones
If You Dig Menudo Or MDC
We Salute You The Way We Know
For Every One With Dollar Signs
In His Eyes

Once a year my friend puts on a red suit
And hangs around with me and my wife
But lately I've been feeling jealous each time she climbs on his knee
And she stands beneath the mistletoe screaming
For him to stand beneath the mistletoe screaming
Now I can't help but feeling jealous each time she climbs on his knee
Why must she climb on his knee?
I saw my baby wearing Santa's beard

He wants a shoehorn
The kind with teeth
People should get beat up
for statin' their beliefs

He wants a shoehorn
The kind with teeth
'cause he knows there's no such thing

He asked a girl
If they can both sit in a chair
But he doesn't get nervous
She's not really there

He wants a shoehorn
the kind with teeth
'cause he knows there's no such thing

Tour the world
in a heavy metal band

Avalanche or roadblock
I was a snowball in hell
Avalanche or roadblock
A jailer trapped in his cell

Money's all broke, and food's going hungry
If it wasn't for disappointment
I wouldn't have any appointments

Side effect or drug trip
Don't tease me with all of your might
Side effect or drug trip
My panacea's in a Xerox shop

Have a nice day, you want it when?

I like people, theyre the ones who cant stand
Theyre the ones who cant stand
I see smoke signals coming from them
They say we are out of furniture

Stand on your own head for a change
Give me some skin to call my own
Stand on your own head for a change
Give me some skin to call my own

You made my day, now you have to sleep in it
Now you have to sleep in it

Who can snap my fingers?
Nobody can, nobody can
Where's my cat's pajamas?
In the can, the big trash can

Swing is a word
Six feet down
Swing is a word
Six feet down
Swing is a word
Six feet down
Swing is a word
Six feet down

3-8-7-6-9-6-2-night*

Swing is a word (3-8-7)
6-9-6-2
Swing is a word (3-8-7)
6-9-6-2
Swing is a word (3-8-7)
6-9-6-2
Swing is a word (Swing is a word)
Six feet down

Come on baby
Turn that frown upside down
Tell me why you ain't been around
What is it brings you down?

We work the hardest to be the smartest (we work)
We work the hardest to be the smartest (we work)
We work the hardest to be the smartest (we work)
We work the hardest to be the smartest (we work)
And the big big whoredom scared me

No, no, baby
I ain't convinced it ain't so bad as you paint it

In The Mornin' Sun Round Seven O'clock
The Parking Lot Fills Around Toys-R-Us
And My Little Girl She Will Get Away
Ride Her Bike Down Toddler Highway
Take Your Close 'n' Play
Toddler Highway

I never went to the tropical island
Though everybody said they saw me there
And it wasn't me you punched a hole in
At the West German protest march

Simultaneous events don't happen
We are isolated temporally
And a part is never called a whole thing
Though it bothers it to know it's so

Every man is made of two opinions
Every woman has a second half

Where your eyes don't go a filthy scarecrow waves its broomstick arms
And does a parody of each unconscious thing you do
When you turn around to look it's gone behind you
On its face it's wearing your confused expression
Where your eyes don't go

Where your eyes don't go a part of you is hovering
It's a nightmare that you'll never be discovering
You're free to come and go or talk like Kurtis Blow

I know you deceived me, couldn't sleep last night
Now my tear stains on the wall reflect an ugly sight
I can see your secrets
No need to confess
Everyone looks naked when you know the world's address

The world's address
A place that's worn
A sad pun that reflects a sadder mess
I'll repeat it for those who may not have already guessed
The world's address

Youll always miss my big old body
In its prime and never shoddy,
While bloodhounds wait down in the lobby youll eulogize my big old body

Youll miss me with effigies
Lighting up your house like xmas trees
As tears roll down below your knees
Youll miss me with effigies

Go find a man to fit my shoes
Left ones old and the right ones new
And I bought the right one just for you

Youth culture killed my dog
And I don't think it's fair
And his suicide can be justified
By the taste makers, how they cried and cried
Bacharach and David used to write his favorite songs
Never would he worry, he'd just run and fetch the ball
But the night lights and my dog's life aren't exactly one and the same
Youth culture killed my dog
And I don't think it's fair