Alapalooza lyrics

We're dangerous dudes, we got bad attitudes
Most of our brain cells are gone
We were born to be bad, you better not make us mad
Or we just might toilet paper your lawn
We got a reputation 'round these parts
We only leave a ten percent tip
Sometimes we don't return our shoping carts
Stay out of our way and don't you give us no lip

'Cause we're young... dumb and ugly
That's what we are

Harvey, Harvey,
Harvey the Wonder Hamster,
He doesn't bite and he doesn't squeal
He just runs around in his hamster wheel!
Harvey, Harvey,
Harvey, the wonder hamster!
Hey Harvey!

Is this the real life
Is this just fantasy
Caught in a landslide
No escape from reality
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy
'Cause I'm easy come, easy go
Little high, little low
Anyway the wind blows, doesn't really matter to me
To me

Mama, just killed a man
Put a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead

When we first met she seemed perfectly normal
I never dreamed she'd make my life so hard
You see, my baby, she started to change
Started lookin' kinda strange
Wearin' all that white makeup and those black leotards
Well, I guess she kept her little secret pretty well
Now, ever since I learned the horrible truth
You know my life has been a living hell
That's right, you see

It took a lifetime, but I finally found
The perfect waffle recipe
You'll never find a batter any better
In this whole stinkin' town
One little bite and I'm sure that you'll agree

Your eyes roll back and your knees get weak
Aw, you're gonna lick your plate clean
People come from miles around just to study my technique
I make the best darn waffles this world has ever seen

I recall the time
They found those fossilized mosquitoes
And before long, they were cloning DNA
Now, I'm being chased by some
Irate velociraptors, well, believe me,
This has been one lousy day

Jurrasic park is frightning in the dark
All the dinosaurs are running wild
Someone shut the fence off in the rain
I admit it's kinda eerie
But this proves my Chaos Theory

Risin' above the city, blocking out the noonday sun
It dwarfs the mighty redwoods and it towers over everyone
I still remember when that delivery truck came down our block
What a lucky guy, I hear he got the last one in stock
And the neighbors are just green
They say, "That's the biggest screen we've ever seen!"

It's Frank's 2000" TV (Frank's 2000" TV)

Carbon monoxide
Making me choke
No A.C.
And the radio's broke
Cars backed up
Far as you can see
Seems like I've been waiting here for all eternity
Oh, and just in case you're wondering
I'll tell you where I am
I'm right here (right here) right here (right here)
Stuck right here in the middle of this...

Traffic jam
I haven't moved one inch from this here spot
Traffic jam

There's somethin' weird in the fridge today
I don't know what it is
Food I can't recognize
My roommate won't throw a thing away
I guess it's probably his
It looks like it's alive...

And livin' in the fridge...livin' in the fridge
Livin' in the fridge...livin' in the fridge

There's somethin' gross in the fridge today
It's green and growin' hair
It's been there since July

Sometimes I feel
Like I need a vacation
Sometimes I feel
Like I wanna go
To the city of cavemen
The city of Bedrock
I'd be a Flintstone
Now I'll tell you why....

Well I've got I've got a woman named Wilma
Well I've got I've got a baby named Pebbles
Well I've got I've got a doggy named Dino
We do a little bowling and we drink a little vino

Well I've got a little buddy, Barney Rubble

You can torture me, with Donnie and Marie
You can play some Barry Manilow
Or you could play some schlock
Like New Kids on the Block
Or any Villiage People song you know.

Or play Vanilla Ice, hey you can play him twice,
And you can play the Bee Gees any day,
But Mr. DJ please, I'm beggin' on my knees,
I just can't take no more of Billy Ray.

I dated Siamese twins
I slept with Bigfoot, too
Get me on Sally Jesse
Put me on Donahue
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now

My dog's a narcoleptic
My mom's a circus freak
I gotta get a spot on
Geraldo's show this week
'Cause I wanna tell the world about it
Right Now

I'm just an anorexic codependant bingo addict
Stripper born without a chin