Even Worse lyrics

Oh some times I think back to when I was younger
Life was so much simpler then
Dad would be up at dawn
He'd be watering the lawn
Or maybe going fishing again

Oh and mom would be fixing up something in the kitchen
Fresh biscuits or hot apple pie
And I'd spend all day long in the basement
Torturing rats with a hack-saw
And pulling the wings off of flies

Those were the good old days

Yeah
Well, Well, Milton Bradley's got a def one
It's a Twister (Twister, Twister, Twister)
Yeah, all the girls and homeboys
Playin' Twister (Twister, Twister, Twister!)
Spin the spinner and call the shot
Twister ties you up in a knot
That's Twister
Yeah, Twister

Check it
Right foot blue (Right foot blue)
Left hand red (Left hand red)
Left, Right, Yellow, Blue, Green
Yeah, Twister

Your butt is wide, well mine is too
Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you
The word is out, better treat me right
'Cause I'm the king of cellulite
Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right

My zippers bust, my buckles break
I'm too much man for you to take
The pavement cracks when I fall down
I've got more chins than Chinatown

Well, I've never used a phone booth

This song is just six words long
This song is just six words long
This song is just six words long
This song is just six words long

Couldn't think of any lyrics
No I never wrote the lyrics
So I'll just sing any old lyrics
That come to mind, child

You really need words
Whole lotta rhyming words
You gotta rhyme so many words, mm-mm
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it

Isn't it strange
Feels like I'm lookin' in the mirror
What would people say
If only they knew that I was

Part of some geneticist's plan (plan-plan-plan)
Born to be a carbon copy man (man-man-man)
There in a petri dish late one night
They took a donor's body cell and fertilized a human egg and so I say

I think I'm a clone now
There's always two of me just a-hangin' around

Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be
Sweet Me-he-he-he-helanie
Why won't you go out with me

She lived across the street on the fifteenth floor of the Gilmore building
I saw her in the shower reaching for some soap
I knew she had to be the girl for me
And to think I probably never would have found her
If I hadn't bought that telescope

Oh, Me-he-he-helanie
What can the problem be

My life, it used to be incomplete
‘Till I saw what I was looking for at a drive-in swap meet
My life it won't be the same again
Now I'm proud to say the king lives on inside my den

Oh, it's all I live for, it's all I need
My velvet Elvis
My velvet Elvis
My velvet Elvis means the world to me

Although he may not be worth much dough
He means much more to me

Doctor, every night I have the strangest dreams
Doctor, listen to me, tell me what this means
First I'm goin' shoppin' in my underwear
Then all of sudden I'm floating in mid air
My lips fall off and everybody starts to stare
Donuts and hot dogs are flying everywhere

Now Doctor, wait a minute, you ain't heard nothin' yet
Next comes the part that I won't ever forget

You make me wanna slam my head against the wall
You make me do the limbo
You make me wanna buy a slurpee at the mall
You make me watch the Gong Show
There's really something kinda strange about you
Baby, but I can't exactly seem to put my finger on it

You make me
You make me
You make me
That's what you do to me

You make me wanna hide a weasel in my shorts

La-la-la-la-lasagna
You want-a some-a lasagna magnifico
Or a-maybe spaghetti
Ay, you supper's a-ready now, where you go
Mama mia bambino
Mama mia bambino, 'samatta you
'Samatta you, 'samatta you

You should-a taste my lasagna
Ay, you no like-a lasagna
That's okay too
How about-a calzone
Some-a nice minestrone, ats good for you
Have-a some marinara

Here she comes now, wants her alimony
Bleedin' me dry as a bony bony
Workin' three jobs just to stay in debt now
Well, first she took my nest egg then she took the nest
I said yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)

(Yeah) 'Cause she took my house (alimony), my car (alimony)
My shoes (alimony) and my toothbrush too (alimony)
Too bad (alimony), so sad (alimony)