Poodle Hat lyrics

I'm not the brightest crayon in the box
Everyone says I'm dumber than a bag of rocks
I barely even know how to put on my own pants
But I'm a genius in France (yeah), genius in France, genius in France

Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka laka
Hoom chaka

I may not be the sharpest hunk of cheese
I got a negative number on my SATs
I'm not good looking and I don't know how to dance

Poor Peter Parker was pitiful
Couldn't have been any shyer
Mary Jane still wouldn't notice him
Even if his hair was on fire
But then one day he went to that science lab
That mutated spider came down
Oh, and now Peter crawls over everyone's walls
And he's swingin' all over town
La li la, li de da
La la, li le la da dom

Sling us a web you're the spider-man
Sling us a web tonight

Yeah
A used...pink bathrobe
A rare...mint snow globe
A Smurf...TV tray
I bought on eBay

My house...is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on eBay

I'll buy...your knick-knack

I, man, am regal, a German am I
Never odd or even if I had a hi-fi
Madam, I'm Adam, too hot to hoot
No lemons, no melon, too bad I hid a boot
Lisa Bonet ate no basil, Warsaw was raw
Was it a car or a cat I saw?

Rise to vote, sir, do geese see god?
Do nine men interpret?, Nine men, I nod
Rats live on no evil star, Won't lovers revolt now?
Race fast safe car

Look
If you had
One shot
To sit on your lazy butt
And watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush
Would you go for it?
Or just let it slip?
Yo

Remote is ready
Eyes wide, palms are sweaty
There's Flintstones on the TV already
Wilma 'n' Betty
No virgin to channel surfin'
And I'm HD-ready
So I flip
Garbage is all I'm getting

There's Simon Cowell

S'rotten...so rotten here
So rotten

It was like the last day before trash day
my place was gettin kinda nasty
even though the garbage i knew would wreak, ya know
thought that i could leave it for one more week
then um im takin birthday cake and..oh chili and greasy old bacon,
throw it all on top of the mess i been makin
wife so mad she starts to shakin

Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation, no breathing
Don't give a %$@& if I cut my arm bleeding
This is my last resort

'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Nothing's all right, nothing is fine
I'm running and a-crying

Wake up (Wake up)

Uh huh ... extra cheese
Uh huh, uh huh ... save a piece for me

Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
Nineteen extra larges
What a shame
No one came

Just us eatin' all alone
You said, Take the pizza home
No sense lettin' all this go to waste
So then I faced

Pizza all day
And every day
This cheese 'round the clock
Is gettin' me blocked
And I sure don't care

Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down) not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news
He said, "Hey! You know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolds and screws"

Finger food and an ice cold keg,
They won't cost you an arm and a leg!
Dance all night to a rotten band.
Come on people, let's give 'em a hand!

Saturday night, it's the place to be,
Everyone cut footloose with me!
It's a party at the leper colony.
There's a party at the leper colony!

Hey!

Met a little lady, so pretty and young.
She was quite a talker 'til the cat got her tongue!

I don't have a library card
But do you mind if I check you out?
I like your skeletal structure, baby
You're an ectomorph, no doubt

Your face is real symmetrical
And your nostils are so nice
I wish that I was cross-eyed, girl
So I could see you twice

Girl, you smell like Fritos
That's why I'm giving you this hungry stare
You're so hot, you're gonna melt
The elastic in my underwear

I was watching my TV one night
when they broke in with a special report
About some devastating earthquake in Peru
There were thirty thousand crushed to death,
Even more were buried alive
on the Richter scale it measured 8.2
And I said, "God, please answer me one question,...
Why'd they have to interrupt "The Simpsons" just for this?"
What a drag, 'cause I was taping it and everything