Weird Al Yankovic lyrics

Ridin' in a bus down the boulevard,
And the place was pretty packed.
Couldn't find a seat, so I had to stand,
With the perverts in the back.
It was smellin' like a locker room.
There was junk all over the floor.
We're already packed in like sardines,
But we're stoppin' to pick up more.
Look out!

Another one rides the bus-ah.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
And another comes on,

Gonna tell you a story
About Chuck and Diane
Couple British kids from
The palace at Buckingham

Chuckie wants to grow up
And be a polo star
And ride his little horsies
All around the backyard, oh yeah

You know they really paid their dues
I said hey, lawdy mama
They got them Buckingham blues

Now Chuckie goes hunting
And leaves Diane alone
So she fixes her hair
And she talks on the Princess Phone

Gotta boogie
Gotta boogie
Gotta boogie
Gotta boogie
Gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie (gotta boogie)
Gotta boogie on my finger and I can't shake it off

Well, I went out to a party just the other night
I was jammin' to the music, I was feelin' alright
I was burning up the floor like a disco maniac
When my woman said, "Baby, why's your hand behind you back?"

Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, to you.
Happy Birthday.
Happy Birthday, to you.

Well, It's time to celebrate your birthday,
It happens every year,
Eat a lot of broccoli and drink a lot of beer,
You should be good and happy that there's something you can eat,
A million people every day are starving in the street!
Your daddy's in the gutter with the wreched and the poor,

I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool
Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school
Yeah, but chocolate's gettin' old
Vanilla just leaves me cold
There's just one flavor good enough for me, yeah me,
Please don't gimme no crummy taste spoon
I know what I need, baby

I love rocky road
So won't you go and buy a half gallon baby
I love rocky road
So have another triple scoop with me
Ow!

I don't care about your karma
I don't care about what's hip
No space cadet's gonna tell me what to do

I won't swim in your Jacuzzi
You can't make me settle down
I'd rather kick and jump and bite and scratch
And scream until I'm blue

I may as well be hyper
As long as I'm still around
'Cause I'll have lots of time to be laid back
When I'm six feet under ground

I visit Mr. Frump in the hospital
I see him most every day
And when I see Mr. Frump in his iron lung
This is what I hear him say

(deep breathing)

Y'know, Mr. Frump is my very best friend
He's never a chump or a tease
He never tells me lies, and best of all
He never disagrees

I bring him candy and flowers every afternoon
Sit down by his side and say "Hi"

Oooh, my little hungry one,
Hungry one.
Open up a package of my bologna.
Oooh, I think the toast is done,
The toast is done.
Top it with a little of my bologna.

Never gonna stop,
Eat it up.
Such a tasty snack,
I always eat too much,
And throw up.
But I'll soon be back
For my my my yi yi wooo!
M-M-M-My bologna.

Spreadin' on the mustard now,
A-show me how.
Spread it on a little of this bologna.

Hey Lucy, I'm home!
Oh, Ricky, you're so fine,
You're so fine you blow my mind.
Hey, Ricky! Hey, Ricky!
Oh, Lucy, you're so fine,
You're so fine you blow my mind.
Hey, Lucy! Hey, Lucy!
Oh, Ricky, you're so fine,
You play your bongos all the time.
Hey, Ricky! Hey, Ricky!
Oh, Lucy, you're so fine,
How I love to hear you whine.
Hey, Lucy!

Hey, Ricky!
You always play your conga drums.

Had to park my car for just five minutes
Hato go inside to use the phone
Wen Icame out again my car was gone now
I didnt know it was a loading zone

What a bummer I was so brought down
I chased that towtruck all over town singing
Stop draggin my, stop draggin my
Stop draggin my car around

Took my baby to the local disco
I was jumping like a maniac
Till the owner cam and pulled me off the floor

I got my alligator boots, I wear my pants skin tight
I wear my dark sunglasses in the middle of the night
And when I look in the mirror, oh it's such an awesome sight
It makes me want to kneel down and pray

I'm so adorable and charming
I'm sure that you can see
And everybody's always tryin' to hang around with me
They tell me I'm the greatest, and it's hard to disagree

Well, hey, how ya doin', have a seat, have a drink
Boy, it's good to see you, what can I say
Whoa, sorry, gotta run, we'll get together again
Say, what was your name, anyway
Well, we're workin' on the problem
We'll get back to ya soon (yeah)
But don't try to call me
I'll be in a meeting every afternoon
For a year, maybe longer, keep in touch
Thanks for droppin' by and have a nice day

Hi, this is "Weird Al" Yankovic.

Remember, if you have one or two of those traditional blueberry daiquiris
this holiday season, please, let somebody else drive

Hello, this is "Weird Al" Yankovic,

urging you to remember the true meaning of the Christmas season,

and also to buy as many copies of my new album as you possibly can!

Ah-HAHAHAHA! AH-HA! Heh

If I could stick my hand in my heart

Spill it all over the stage

Would it satisfy you

Would it slide on by you

Would you think the boy is strange
Ain't it stra-a-ange

If I could win

If I could sing

A love song so divine

Would it be enough for your cheating heart

If I broke down and cried

If I cri-i-ied

I said, "Ah no, It's only rock 'n' roll

But I like it

Now, let me tell you 'bout the school cafeteria

It's got all the others beat

It sells over four million burgers a year

Just think, that's almost two pounds of meat

My ice cream sandwich is lukewarm

But my burrito is much too cold

You know a school cafeteria is the only place

That sells artificially colored mold

You know a school cafeteria believes in mass production

Goin' to the market now, market now.

I'm the city's biggest bologna buyer.

Walkin' down the shopping aisle, shopping aisle,
Filling up my basket with Oscar Meyer.

Never gonna stop, eat it up,

Such a tasty snack.

I always eat too much, and throw up,

But I'll soon be back

For my-my-my-y-y woo!

M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my-my-my-y-y woo!

M-m-m-my bologna.

M-m-m-my bologna.