How come you're always such a fussy young man
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no Raisin Bran
Well, don't you know that other kids are starving in Japan
So eat it, just eat it

Don't want to argue, I don't want to debate
Don't want to hear about what kind of food you hate
You won't get no dessert 'till you clean off your plate
So eat it

Don't you tell me you're full

I was waiting in the express lane with my twelve items or less,
At the checkout counter at the local grocery store.
I was only passin' by,
But a paper caught my eye,
And I learned a few things I never knew before.
It said, "Your pet may be an extraterrestrial."
It said, "The ghost of Elvis is living in my den.
You can learn to cope with stress,
And you can beat the IRS,

You can watch Mister Rogers,
You can watch Three's Company,
And you can turn on Fame,
Or the Newlywed Game,
Or the Addams Family.

Say, you can watch Barney Miller,
And you can watch your MTV,
And you can watch
Till your eyes fall out of your head.
That'll be okay with me.
And you can watch (TV)

You can watch Johnny Carson,
You can watch Phil Donahue,
And you can use TV Guide
To help you decide,

Gonna buy me a condo
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart
Get a wall-to-wall carpeting
Get a wallet full 'o credit cards
I gonna buy me a condo, never have to mow de lawn
I gonna get me da T-shirt wit' de alligator on

Wo, used to live in Jamaica But I don't live dere no more
Had to change me lifestyle
Do t'ings I never done before
So now I'm just a lonely Rastaman
Living in dis American town

Ohhhhhh...
I was there, to match my intellect, on national TV,
Against a plumber, and an architect, both with a Ph.D.
I was tense, I was nervous,
I guess it just wasn't my night.
Art Fleming gave the answers,
Oh, but I couldn't get the questions right-ight-ight

I lost on Jeopardy,
Baby,
(Oooh.)
I lost on Jeopardy,
Baby,
(Oooh.)

Well I knew I was in trouble now,
My hope of winning sank,

They tell us that we lost our tails,
Evolving up from little snails.
I say it's all just wind and sails.
Are we not men, we are Devo.
Are we not men, D-E-V-O.
Smoke on the water.
A fire in the sky.
Smoke on the water.

(I'm a man) I'm a boy.
(I'm a man) Well, I'm your mother.
(I'm a man) I'm a one-night stand.
(I'm a man) Am I by?
(I'm a man) I'm your slave.
I'm a little girl,

I need a Vegematic
I need a Pocket Fisherman
I need a handy appliance
That'll scramble an egg while it's still inside its shell

Operators are standing by
How does that make you feel
Help me
Mr. Popeil

I wanna shine some pennies
I wanna mend some leather
I wanna Krazy-Glue my head
To the bottom of a big steel girder

Please, no C.O.D.'s
Don't miss out on this deal
Ah, help me

There's a sale on our gabardine suits today
They're all thirty percent off from yesterday
There's Fortrel polyester, leather, wool, and tweed
Just a Visa or MasterCard is all you need
We've got every color, we've got every shade
We're located next door to Willy's Fun Arcade
We got every fabric that was ever made
But I'm known in this city as the King of Suede

We all used to call him Jimmy the Geek
He was a dumb lookin' scrawny little four-eyed freak
He never used to hang around with the guys
He'd just sit in the corner attractin' the flies
He wasn't much to look at
He never was very bright
But at least there was one thing that he could do all right

That boy could dance
That boy could dance, yeah

Fat and weak, what a disgrace.
Guess the champ got too lazy.
Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space.
Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain.

But he's no bum, he works down the street.
He bought the neighborhood deli.
Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat.
Come inside, maybe you'll hear him say:

Try the rye or the kaiser,
They're on special tonight.

Fat and weak, what a disgrace.
Guess the champ got too lazy.
Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space.
Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain.

But he's no bum, he works down the street.
He bought the neighborhood deli.
Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat.
Come inside, maybe you'll hear him say:

Try the rye or the kaiser,
They're on special tonight.